Saturday, June 1, 2013

procrastination

Yay! breakfast in bed compliments of my loving husband. Fried egg and bacon on a piece of toast with valentina hot sauce. So far it's been a day of overcast light filtering in through our east facing windows, drinking hot tea out of my beaver "life is for living; love is for giving" mug lying in bed contemplating what to do today. Many possibilities come to mind. 

In the past 6 months I've learned I would never be good at at etsy store where I came up with a product and produced it, more than one. I have absolutely no initiative to do so. The motivation is drained in any attempt to make something I'm not inspired to make of my own accord, but by demand, I loose all interest. Which I've been struggling with since November when I met  2 girls from a band we saw in Orlando Talk Normal. We talked momentarily where they mentioned they liked my watermelon necklaces Jamin and I were wearing. I offered to make and send them some of their own and some mushroom necklaces. At the time I had just made 2 so far. It's 7 months later and I feel like a failure having made only one and sending none. Granted I could blame it on moving to another state, getting in the swing of new surroundings and schedule. I'm recognizing my lack of willingness to sacrifice my time for someone else, a flaw I've noticed in different areas of my life. God's been teaching  me about this lately, stepping into being a living sacrifice (with a living hope). 

So i could make some or at least one watermelon necklace, paint my mini air dry clay bowl that has since dried since I molded it, fix up the paint of the 4 other air dry clay beads I made and mod podge varnish the paint so that they don't rub off on each other since I used gouache. write much due letters to my friends one of which I started writing a few weeks ago and is still in the typewriter. make more stuff out of air dry clay. Make music, or better worded; play around with our keyboards and garage band, layering and looping sounds till it sounds like music. scan photos, paint, draw, collage. All along resisting the urge to feel bored or lonely acknowledging that I find my being in Christ, the urge goes away when I seek God, when I talk with Him. 

No comments:

Post a Comment